July 2012
6 posts
12 tags
another letter to amy
dear amy, mermaid …
i feel so lost without you in this world. your presence alone reminded me that i wasn’t alone.
i have always been talented beyond my years, but with a giant streak of recklessness running through me like a highway. a deep chasm that sometimes prevents me from getting to the other side without being run over a few times. i feel like some people are meant to have a...
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March 2012
2 posts
8 tags
9 tags
letter to amy
dear amy,
i feel i’ll die young, my dreams wrung and hung to dry.
my tears will never dry.
my body’s marked up like graffiti; urban Nefertiti
equal to these men, my spirit transcends
opinion worth more than 2 cents
i’ma nuisance in suburbia
they say i represent a descent into poor morals
and no impulse control
i drink too much but i’m still raising the bar
...
December 2011
4 posts
10 tags
letter to amy
dear amy,
i feel the gears winding down inside the little clock of my heart. they turn slower now, and their teeth don’t always grip and turn like they should. i’m always a few steps behind my own shadow, so darkness precedes me. and that darkness stands up tall even when i’m on my knees. ya know we go together like praying hands, ‘cuz it’s the same stuff in both of...
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letter to amy
dear amy,
i laid in my bed and listened to the album of your recordings that was released today. i miss you. i’ve realized being around the block a few times is a stain you can’t wash off. it stays with you - that taint of struggle and despair - it’s like being haunted. and even when the demons are chased away, they still have left their footprints.
lately my body feels like a...
November 2011
3 posts
9 tags
a letter to amy
dear amy,
the wound left by the loss of you has not healed. it never will. not many people understand why i have felt so deeply connected to you, and then how devastating the loss of you was to me. there have been very few people who i saw myself in. who reminded me that it’s ok to be me. and you are one of those few. people can see my struggles the moment they see me. i’m a clutter...
5 tags
9 tags
another letter to amy.
dear amy jade,
it’s been so long since i’ve written. i’m sorry. i feel like a shipwreck - this body of mine is just pointy bones and bruises. i’m trying to be healthy, but seems like i create my own twenty-foot-waves to capsize my little boat, and then i wonder why my pockets are filled with stones and i can’t stay afloat. i sit in front of the floor-length mirror in...
October 2011
1 post
6 tags
A letter to Amy
Dear Amy,
Its been too long since I’ve written you. Life has pressed into me, leaving its boot print sunk deep into the open fields of my heart; a field with an uninhibited view of the horizon. Where I sit and watch the seasons of my life shift from gold to grey. Where my shadow falls between wind-bent grass, drifting along like a lost boat on the water. Without anchor, or direction. Love surely...
September 2011
25 posts
8 tags
another letter
dear amy,
i write to you instead of writing jumbles of thoughts in my diary. feels good to write my thoughts to you, as inane as my thoughts may be. you have always provided comfort to me, because you remind me of myself. so i keep writing you. it makes me feel less alone.
…
i walk around each day, the sky gray like the cement.
sometimes i practice conversations i hope to have with...
3 tags
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letter to amy
dear amy,
i miss you so much.
i feel like a seagull circling a parking lot, searching for sea
i feel like i’m watching a movie of a girl playing the part of me
i’ve abandoned every nest i’ve built
from strands of hair, twigs, and twine
my life is a mismatched patchwork quilt
that doesn’t keep me warm at night
goodnight, dear amy
you are never far from my...
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letter to amy
dearest amy jade,
happy birthday, forever beloved amy jade. i will miss you until the ends of the earth. it’s a full moon … but it could never shine as bright as your beautiful soul shone. fly high into the sky, sweet songbird, among the stars.
i love you.
~sarah june
7 tags
7 tags
9 tags
letter to amy
dear amy jade,
my birthday has just passed, and yours is only 3 days away. i miss you.
i went to an art opening tonight, trying to keep busy to distract from the train wreck that is my life right now.
life is sometimes a very unsettling play - in which i’m cast into a role i never auditioned for.
in an abusive situation, a person shouldn’t find a new “normal” to cope...
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a letter to amy
beloved amy jade,
i remember when i heard the news - july 23rd - the most awful news that you were gone. i read that when emergency was phoned that they described the call as a “divorced lady in camden who appears to be dead”. i remember feeling a sense of horror reading such a cold description of you.
you are a lady with a voice that changed the world. you are a girl who has touched...
6 tags
7 tags
a letter to amy
amy jade,
lately it seems clear i don’t fit anywhere. i try to be social and wear a smile. but seems everyone can see the parts of me that are chipped - and like a broken teacup they put me back on the shelf. i live upstairs in a house that is filled with echoing arguments downstairs.
and i wonder if there is some special thread that can stitch me back together. or maybe some people find...
6 tags
letter to amy jade
dear amy,
i take so much comfort in writing to you. just about my life, and thoughts. i think of you all the time, and you are one of the only people who reminds me of myself so much that it’s like looking into a mirror. so, i write you every day. and i miss you every day.
you know, it seems there is no help for adults who are suffering. i live in an abusive home. if i was a child i would...
3 tags
7 tags
a letter to amy
dear amy jade,
i slept into the afternoon today. the last 2 weeks i’ve been a mess, but i’ve held myself together with one stitch. it’s september now - almost my birthday and then yours. i don’t want anything but to be ok. and i wish you could sit across me and we could both blow out the candles on our cake. i miss you every day.
love,
sarah june
9 tags
7 tags
another letter to amy
beloved amy jade,
i’m up late, bathed in the flickering glow of the TV light. i’m trying to rise like steam, but it seems i sink like stone. august has turned to september now, and i know autumn is on its way. i miss you, amy. sweet songbird, i hope your wings have carried you high into the starry night. one day i will sit beside you, once i can again rise above these gray streets....
August 2011
50 posts
9 tags
7 tags
another letter to amy
dear amy,
summer is slowly fading from gold to gray. i’m not looking forward to autumn - that feeling in the air that is the small space between summer and winter. there’s that crisp clean air, blazing red leaves, and a feeling of urgency. autumn is fleeting, and summer quickly becomes a memory, before winter takes the wheel.
i’m sick again - seems like i should just get used...
5 tags
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a letter
dear amy jade,
my biggest comfort these days is writing to you.
i feel like my heart is a box full of broken glass - like you can hear the sound of the shards clinking into each other with each footstep. i feel like the magnetic north has been removed, and my compass is drifting with no anchor. it’s almost your birthday, amy. and mine too. six days apart. i feel like i don’t really...
7 tags
7 tags
another letter to amy jade
dear amy,
everyone and everything seems so far away. like a blurry photograph. everything is blue and bent. and everything i say feels like a letter never sent, because i don’t have an address to write on it. my skin has become a document, tattoos of birds and ships and skeletons.
i miss you, amy jade.
~sarah june
